TL;DR
The fear of being seen usually has less to do with strategy than with your nervous system. In this conversation, Jodie Rodenbaugh, the Love Liberator, explains why you freeze on camera, how to tell whether you're connected to yourself, what her Witness Protection Program keeps you stuck in, and how to build the capacity to be seen.
A few months ago, I propped my phone on its little stand to record an Instagram story, and I froze. I knew my material. I had plenty to say. It took a conversation with Jodie Rodenbaugh for me to understand that the fear of being seen had nothing to do with my content or my strategy. It was happening in my body.
Here's what that looked like. I'd decided to cut back on my Instagram feed and show people more of who I am in my stories, so I was going to try what everyone was calling "yapping," where you just talk to the camera. I hadn't even hit record. I sat there staring at the screen, processing and processing. What should I say? Should I be real? Should I tell people I'd been feeling really vulnerable lately?
Finally I thought, f*ck it, just start recording. I talked from my heart for about six minutes, and it felt really good. Then I did something even harder and watched it back. Watching myself and feeling what I was feeling was a level of connection to myself I didn't expect. I remember thinking, I can really feel how you feel, Lori.
And then I trashed it. Six minutes is too long for Instagram stories, and when I started asking Claude how to cut it down to two, I thought, screw it, I don't have time for this. The video went in the trash and I moved on. I haven't recorded another one since.
When I told Jodie this story, she didn't treat it as a content problem. She said the way I was looking at my phone, like someone was going to shoot me through it, is what happens. "It makes no logical sense," she told me, "because it's not logical, it's biological."
Jodie is a feminine embodiment teacher, intuitive energy healer and self-mastery mentor known as the Love Liberator. I first met her when I was a featured host at the Visibility Velocity event, and I loved her energy from the start. She works with visionary leaders and entrepreneurs on the emotional and energetic patterns that sabotage both love and business growth, and she came to this work through what she calls a sudden emotional impact.
When she was 36, her first husband died suddenly at 37 after a medical accident before a routine shoulder surgery. She had a five-year-old, a two-year-old, and was 15 weeks pregnant with their third child. Before that, she spent about 12 years teaching in inner-city schools and then coached teachers as a STEM instructional coach. She told me she has always been able to see the genius in people, because if you can see someone's wounds, you can see their wisdom too.
In this post, I'm sharing what Jodie taught me about why we freeze, how to tell whether you're connected to yourself or only think you are, the pattern she calls the Witness Protection Program, and what it takes to build the capacity to be seen without forcing it.
Freezing on Camera Is a Body Response
When you freeze in front of the camera, your nervous system is reacting to what feels like danger. That's why you can know exactly what to say and still be unable to say it, and why talking yourself into it rarely works.
Jodie explained that once the response is biological, you can't even get your thoughts straight. All those shoulds I was running through were me looking for a rule, some kind of logic that would make it feel safe to press record. There isn't one. "We're looking for the logic," she said, "and there's no freaking logic here."
She also made a point I keep coming back to. The more AI shows up in our work, the more being human matters. Nobody gets out of being authentic anymore, and that means letting people see your emotions, your real thinking and sometimes your dirty hair.
Part of why talking to my phone felt so unnatural is something Jodie relates to as well. We both respond to people. When I'm riffing with a client or a guest, the words come easily. When it's just me and a lens, there's nobody to respond to, and my body fills that space with every reason to stop.
Self-Connection Starts With One Simple Question
Jodie's first test for whether you're connected to yourself is simple: do you like who you're being, and do you like how you feel? If the honest answer is no, you're probably taking your direction from outside yourself.
Not long before this conversation, I read a Substack piece by another guest of the show about trust. Her point was that we don't trust ourselves because we're disconnected from ourselves, and it made me stop and pause. Most of us believe we're connected to ourselves. How would we know if we weren't?
When I asked Jodie what most of the entrepreneurs she works with are missing, she answered without hesitating: a sense of self. Plenty of high-achieving people are out in the world running on everyone else's thoughts, emotions and expectations, making decisions from that place and wondering why they feel so far from themselves.
Learning Which Thoughts Are Yours
Jodie teaches that we pick up other people's thoughts and emotions all the time, and we often mistake them for our own. Learning to pause and ask whether a thought belongs to you is the beginning of self-trust.
She described walking into a crowded room or a restaurant and absorbing the energy around you without realizing it. The thought feels like yours, so you act on it. Most of us have never sat with a thought long enough to ask, is this even mine?
Jodie connected this to burnout. Many of us live in a buzzing state that feels like excitement but is closer to chaos, and it's familiar because it's what our nervous system learned before we were seven. At some point we crash. Then we can't tell whether the business stopped working or whether something deeper is going on. Her distinction helped me here: human wants aren't bad, but if you can't tell the difference between a human want and what your soul desires, you'll keep drifting off your path and burning out.
Your Triggers Show You Where Your Power Went
Jodie teaches that when someone triggers you, it's pointing to something still unhealed in you. When you decide it's their problem, you hand them your power.
Most of us assume other people make us feel a certain way, and if we just stopped being around them, we'd feel fine. Jodie sees everyone in your life as a reflection of what you haven't healed yet. A trigger is a cue to pause and ask, where is that still in me, and what is this bringing up? Every time we make it about someone else or about the circumstances, we're outsourcing our power, and our reactions start to depend on how the world responds to us.
Her work moves people toward sovereignty, which she describes as knowing what's yours. To get there, she goes back to what she calls the origination point, the moment that first break in connection happened. Usually it happened with our mother, and usually by accident. Before we're seven, we absorb whatever our parents are carrying, without the conscious memory to make sense of it.
Jodie calls the healing a reconnaissance mission. You go back and collect the pieces of yourself you left behind: the part that still feels unworthy or ashamed, and the part that feels guilty for breaking through a ceiling your family never broke through.
The Witness Protection Program Keeps You in the Familiar
Jodie's Witness Protection Program describes how your ego and your shadow keep you in what's familiar. You're free on paper, but you're always being watched, and anything that steps outside the familiar gets treated as dangerous.
This one landed close to home. My mom and I see the world in very different ways, and I've always been the one in my family who questions things and asks everyone to think about them another way. Sometimes, just by being who I am, I'm a reminder that there's another way to live. That can feel threatening to someone holding on to what has always felt safe.
When I said the word "familiar," Jodie lit up. She described the voice behind that program this way: if you don't fit in this box, I don't know what to do with you, and if I don't know what to do with you, you're dangerous.
I told her I can see that pattern from the outside. Inside it, my emotional response is a different story, and even after a lot of healing work, I don't know that it ever goes away. I also see the same program at work every time I sit down to post. Being visible puts me outside the box, and something in me remembers what that used to cost.
Mother Wisdom and the Diamond You Left Behind
Jodie uses the term mother wisdom where most people would say mother wound. She invites you to see the people who shaped you as playing a role in who you came here to become, which makes it possible to feel safe in yourself without needing their approval.
Jodie believes we chose our parents and they chose us, and that many of us are here to break old cycles and experience what deep love and visibility feel like. When being seen feels safe inside you, you stop trying to convince anyone. You stop proving yourself. You stop worrying about whether you belong, because you're certain of who you are.
She used a video game to explain it, which made me laugh because she doesn't play video games. You reach the end of a level and you can't go forward, because you forgot the diamond back there. So you go back and get it. For Jodie, the diamond is the moment you can look at your mother and appreciate the character she played. That's when love opens up, and appreciation comes through.
Her own mother wisdom was the judge and the critic, because her mother lived in shame. That's why Jodie refuses to sit in judgment of herself now. When she listens back to one of her videos, she'll sometimes cry at how good it was.
Building the Capacity to Be Seen
You build the capacity to be seen by keeping small promises to yourself, becoming the supportive voice you needed, and respecting your nervous system's timing. Forcing visibility before your body is ready tends to end in burnout.
Keep Your Word to Yourself
Integrity with yourself builds safety in your body. When you do what you said you'd do, even on the hard days, your nervous system learns that being seen won't destroy you.
Jodie had committed to a yap challenge of her own, posting a video every day for 30 to 40 days. Being "on" that much isn't natural for her. In human design she's a 2/4 manifesting generator, and she needs what she calls the womb room, time alone to create, listen and receive before she takes action. She made the commitment anyway, because she had some deep patterns to break.
The night before our recording, she'd had a hard day. It was eight o'clock, she's usually done by five, and her hair was dirty. Everything in her said she wasn't doing it. She did it anyway, lying on her porch with her hair flipped up, and then she didn't look back. That part hit me, because her rule was the one I hadn't kept. You don't delete the video. You put it out, regardless of what anybody says.
Become the Voice You Needed
Jodie calls this reparenting. You become the mother you didn't have, saying what you needed to hear so the familiar inner critic doesn't get the last word.
When she was ready to quit that night, she talked to herself the way a loving parent would. "I love you. I believe in you. What you say matters. Get out there and do the damn thing." She said we have to become our own support system, a new safety net for the nervous system, because if we go back to the familiar, we go right back to judging ourselves.
She also said shame hates exposure. So she exposes it on purpose with a simple question: what are you afraid of here? And she keeps her videos simple, with one small topic, so the goal is just to be seen.
You Can't Push a Baby Out Before It's Ready
Pushing through isn't the whole answer. If your body isn't ready to be seen, forcing it usually leads to burnout and then retreat.
Jodie gave birth to her third child six months after her husband died, without anesthesia this time, and she says that labor taught her how to grieve and how to read timing. Business asks the same thing of us: knowing when it's time to push and when it's time to rest. She describes her approach to business as 95 percent energetics and 5 percent strategy.
She expects plenty of people in yap challenges to burn out, because they haven't expanded their capacity to hold the depth of love and visibility it takes to feel safe on the other side. She said the same capacity applies to money.
What Growth Feels Like When the Foundation Is Tended
When the inner work has been done, success lands as gratitude and liberation. It doesn't come with the urge to undo it.
Jodie told me about her first retreat. She had 15 people in the room and walked away with $100,000 from one weekend, more than she had ever made in a year as a teacher with a master's degree. She had to pull her car over afterward to let it sink in. The gratitude was so physical she teared up telling me about it, and she was clear that it had nothing to do with the money. The money was the cherry on top.
What she felt was liberation. "I don't need a system to depend on," she said. "The system is within me." It was all her own intellectual property, her knowledge and her lived experience, and it all mattered.
Jodie is clear that this kind of love isn't all light and positivity. She doesn't do nice, because nice can be a form of manipulation. She does kindness, compassion, discernment and listening. Her phrase for it made me laugh: you do you, boo, and I'll do me.
Quick Diagnostic: How Connected You Are to Yourself
Answer these with your gut. There's no score to perform for here.
| Question | Yes | No |
|---|---|---|
| Do you freeze or overthink every word when it's time to show up on camera? | ||
| Have you created a video, post or email you felt good about and deleted it before anyone saw it? | ||
| Do you check what other people think before you check what you think? | ||
| When someone triggers you, is your first move to decide it's their problem? | ||
| Do you often feel like you're three feet from a breakthrough that never quite arrives? | ||
| After a good stretch in your business, does something tend to go sideways? | ||
| Do you catch yourself performing for approval when you post? | ||
| If you're honest, do you dislike who you're being most days? |
What an Unexamined Foundation Costs When Your Business Grows
Jodie sees two costs when the foundation hasn't been tended. Before a breakthrough, there's an upper limit that keeps you close but stuck. After a breakthrough, there's sabotage.
The first one is the feeling of being three feet from gold. You can sense the breakthrough coming, and somehow it never lands. Jodie says this usually happens because you're still anchored to that origination point, the nervous system set point you learned as a child. There's a terror barrier at the edge of what feels familiar, and your body won't let you cross it.
The second cost shows up after you do break through. Jodie called it sabotage on the back end. The money drains out. A marriage or a family can't hold the new level of success. Sometimes it shows up in your health. She believes it's much easier to release these patterns while they're still energetic than after they've shown up in the body.
When I look back at my trashed video, I can see this pattern in miniature. I did the brave thing. I felt more connected to myself than I had in a while. Then I found a practical reason to make sure nobody saw it. One deleted video doesn't hurt a business. A habit of doing the brave thing and then hiding it does, because the work you're proud of never reaches the people it's meant for.
This is why I keep saying strategy alone can't fix this. You can have a clear offer and a solid visibility plan, and the part of you that decides whether to hit publish will still be running the show.
Frequently Asked Questions About the Fear of Being Seen
Why do I freeze when I try to record a video of myself?
You freeze because your nervous system reads being seen as a risk, even when your mind knows it's safe. Jodie Rodenbaugh describes it as biological rather than logical, which is why preparing more content or rehearsing more lines rarely helps. Keeping the topic small and keeping your promise to post, even when it feels uncomfortable, both help your body learn that visibility won't hurt you.
How do I get over the fear of being seen in my business?
You get over it gradually, by expanding your capacity to be seen. Small, consistent acts of visibility that you follow through on build safety in your body over time. Jodie recommends becoming your own support system, talking to yourself the way a loving parent would, and asking directly what you're afraid of. Forcing a big public commitment before you're ready tends to backfire into burnout.
Is fear of visibility a mindset problem or a strategy problem?
It's usually neither. It's a nervous system pattern, and that's why neither a positive mindset nor a better content plan clears it on its own. Strategy still matters. You need a clear offer and a message worth sharing. But if the part of you that decides whether to post has learned that being seen is dangerous, it will keep overriding even a great plan.
How do I know if I'm connected to myself?
Start with Jodie's question: do you like who you're being, and do you like how you feel? If the answer is no, or if you can't tell which thoughts are yours and which you've absorbed from other people, you're likely taking direction from outside yourself. Another sign is how you handle triggers. If you always make them about someone else, you're giving your power away.
Why does being visible feel unsafe even when I want to grow?
Because growth takes you outside what's familiar, and your nervous system treats the unfamiliar as dangerous. Jodie calls this the Witness Protection Program. Your ego keeps you in what's known, and anything outside that box feels like a threat. Wanting to grow and feeling unsafe about it can be true at the same time.
How does my relationship with my mother affect my business?
According to Jodie Rodenbaugh, many of our patterns trace back to an early break in connection with our mother, usually by accident, before we were seven. Those absorbed beliefs about worthiness and belonging can shape how we show up and sell decades later. Jodie's approach, which she calls mother wisdom, focuses on understanding the role your mother played so you can feel safe in yourself without needing her approval.
What is an upper limit problem in business?
An upper limit problem is a ceiling on how much success you can let yourself hold. Jodie describes it as a terror barrier tied to your childhood nervous system set point. It can keep you stuck three feet from a breakthrough, or it can show up after a breakthrough as money draining out, strained relationships or health issues.
Should I do a 30-day video challenge if I'm scared of being on camera?
It can help if you're ready to keep the commitment, and it can backfire if you're forcing it. Jodie committed to a daily yap challenge to break some deep patterns, and keeping her word to herself is what built safety. She also expects many people in challenges like this to burn out, because their bodies aren't ready yet. If you try one, keep each video small and be honest with yourself about your capacity.
What's Next
If this conversation had you thinking about your own origination point, the moment you first learned that being seen wasn't safe, Jodie is the person I'd want you to talk to.
Jodie offers a one-on-one intuitive session where she looks into your energetics to find that origination point. She often sees the age it happened, what you were feeling, and sometimes the scene itself. Once it's out in the open, you can see how that same pattern is playing out in your relationships and your business, like the facets of one diamond.
Book a session with Jodie here:
https://www.jodierodenbaugh.com/loveliberated
About Lori Young
Lori Young is the creator of the OfferMojo framework and the founder of On a Mission Brands. She is an Offer Ecosystem and Sustainable Business Strategist for service-based entrepreneurs who want to be known for their expertise.
About Jodie Rodenbaugh
Jodie Rodenbaugh is a feminine embodiment teacher, intuitive energy healer and self-mastery mentor known as the Love Liberator. She works with visionary leaders and entrepreneurs to heal the root-cause emotional and energetic patterns that sabotage both love and business growth. Jodie sees herself as a teacher first, and her goal is to help clients learn to read their own intuition so they don't need to depend on her. Before this work, she spent about 12 years teaching in inner-city schools and later coached teachers as a STEM instructional coach. She's a mom of three and the host of The Unshakable Women Podcast.
Website: https://www.jodierodenbaugh.com
